Do you want to hear an uncomfortable truth?
If you are trying to get over your ex while browsing the internet for signs he will never come back, you might sabotage your healing process. Many of us want to move on from a previous relationship, but our minds might still be stuck on signs that our ex will be back at some point.
This might be the exact reason you are here now, right? You too want some clarity on the neverending question “will he ever come back”?
If this is the case, please do not feel judged. You have your reasons for looking at all signs indicating that your ex will be back. Maybe you are doing this for self-reassurance.
If you are reading this article with a signs checklist in mind, hang in there.
Let’s dive into the 5 signs that your ex will never come back.
Or at least not anytime soon.
1 – He makes plans for himself only
Perhaps the most reliable indicator that your ex will not get back to you after a break (or after a definite break-up) is that they do not make ANY plans with you. Instead, they might look for a permanent place to stay, refresh their online dating profiles, and remove you from their yearly holidays. These are all intentional strategies to get over someone and start fresh.
When someone decides to completely move on from a relationship, they start designing a new life without their ex in it. And, as painful as this might be for you to accept, this person makes their intention clear as day with their actions.
This is why sometimes the most reliable source of answers is someone’s overt actions. Did he say he misses you, but then makes the effort of moving on the other side of the country? I wouldn’t be so quick to trust their words when the evidence points in the other direction.
2 – It has been building up for a while
Maybe it’s hard for you to admit it. Or face the truth.
But if you ask yourself some important questions, you might gain some clarity. Do you feel that the break-up has been somehow predictable for a while? Was your relationship toxic and full of conflict? Did he threaten to leave the relationship before?
If you answered “yes” to some of these questions, maybe you saw the break-up coming for a while but were too afraid to leap.
When a partner leaves a dysfunctional and toxic relationship because things were not working, they have fewer (or even zero) reasons to come back. Maybe they admitted to themselves that a common vision for your future was unforeseeable. And they thought the only right decision was to end the relationship for good and never come back.
Studies also show that repeated episodes of relational conflict are accurate indicators of the relationship’s ending. This is even more valid when the relationship is unstable, dysfunctional, or when one of the partners is abusive.
So if the end of the relationship with your ex was somehow predictable and they knew things aren’t working between the two of you, perhaps it’s better to take this as an indication that he will never come back.
Curious to know if your ex will come back?
It might help you to know why they always come back.
3 – There’s more silence than conversation
Let me give you a hint: sometimes, no answer is also an answer? Often, the best way of figuring out how to know if he’ll come back after a break-up is the absence of any evidence that he wants to stay.
No explanation for why he’s leaving? Take this as a sign he’ll never come back.
Is he blocking your number or social media accounts? Take this as a sign.
Is he absent and never contacts you? Also, take this as a sign.
While it’s true that people with an avoidant attachment style are more likely to distance themselves from their partners when things get difficult, silence is also an indicator that your ex does not intend to fix the relationship. A lack of initiative on their part or excessive silence is a clear message that they are not quite motivated to come back to you soon.
This is the part where many people delude themselves into thinking that their partner only needs time away to “figure things out”. If you don’t hear from your ex for weeks and months, they might not just need temporary space to reflect. They are ready for a different relationship.
4 – He directly tells you to move on
Sometimes the signs he will never come back are right in front of us but we refuse to acknowledge them. If he tells you right in your face that you are better off moving on, what other reason are you waiting for?
Sometimes the biggest truths are the most difficult ones to be accepted.
And him telling you to move past your relationship and start your life fresh is one of the biggest signs that he doesn’t intend to come back anytime soon.
He has other plans that don’t involve you. And he is being honest with you and wants you to let go of the fantasy that you two could ever get back together.
5 – He is sleeping around
Although it’s common for some people to sleep around after a break-up in an attempt to find themselves again, this can also be a sign that your ex will not come back to you.
In other words, he’s telling you that he is not interested anymore in the intimacy you previously shared and wants to move by experimenting with new things with new people.
He is no longer thinking about your relationship and wants the freedom and space which allows him to start fresh or change his life. And he wouldn’t do that if he wanted to stay in a previous relationship. So if you hear about your ex sleeping around with other people or even getting into a new committed relationship, perhaps it’s better to say goodbyes to all the hopes that he will ever come back.
Giving someone space versus moving on
A common mistake that people do when a relationship fails is thinking that things can be fixed by taking a break. Sure, in many cases, taking some time off to gain some perspective on the relationship helps.
But a healthy relationship, most of the time, should create a safe space wherein people can work through their issues together. When one of the partners takes time away to find a solution by themselves, this might be a sign that they do not want to involve you in their decision-making process. Otherwise, why wouldn’t they simply ask you to help them in figuring the most effective solution for both of you?
Before you jump to any conclusion, let’s clarify one thing: The difference between giving someone space (or taking a break) and moving on is that taking some time should be done with a previous reassurance and intentional commitment in place.
Otherwise, you might keep being stuck on the question “will he come back after a break“?
But remember, someone who expresses their commitment and makes their intention clear will never leave you wondering whether he will be back at some point. Good communication is essential for a relationship to keep existing, so if your ex is not willing to put in the work, this could show a lack of commitment on their part.
Therefore, the difference between “taking a break” and ending the relationship is found in the communication style and the expressed intention of your partner.
When an intention is not communicated, remember that silence is also an answer. Only that it might not be exactly the one you want to hear.
List of signs he will never come back – summary
I know you keep wondering whether he will come back after a break. If you are searching the internet for all the evidence you can find on whether he will return to you, know that the best answer is already in front of you.
If you’re confused, look at his actions before he left.
Analyze how your relationship has been in your last time together.
Were you two happy?
Was he involved in making you happy?
Did he make any efforts in planning things for both of you in the future?
If you have to rethink the answers to these questions, maybe this is your sign. Perhaps the relationship was doomed a long time ago but you failed to see the truth. Or maybe all these signs he will never come back have nothing do to with how your ex has behaved towards you and he might come back after doing some soul-searching.
Maybe you seek the ultimate indication that you can finally move on. Of course, you might want to go on the internet and tell yourself “that’s okay, my ex doesn’t show any of those signs or behaviors, so he will come back“. But do not fool yourself.
Self-awareness, realism, and an objective hard look at the facts go a long way. Breakups are painful and transformative, but they can be unnecessarily dragged on when you refuse to look at the obvious signs telling you the fairytale is over.
In any case, keep an objective perspective on reality and save yourself from unnecessary pain. Even if he will never come back, you can always start fresh.